Wounded Heart

I've lost a daughter,
not to death,
not to drugs,
but to pride.

I recognize the finality in death and many times drugs, and there is a chance that my situation is not. Yet, as of right now, I've still lost someone I love beyond all telling.

I was contemplating the separation of Lucifer from God. Lucifer was created by God, who I have to believe loved Lucifer beyond belief. Lucifer means "Light Bearer" in Latin and he was considered of the greatest of angels.

Beautiful "Light Bearer", Prince among angels, loved dearly by God...and yet he turned his back, crossed his arms, and rejected God. Lost to pride. I wonder if God mourns like I do? When we see Jesus on the cross, we realize just how devastating the rejection of pure love can be.

If love is to be real, true and beautiful - it must be completely voluntary from both parties. Forced love, love out of obligation, only seems to add resentment, hurt and suspicion.

So love goes one way and is unreturned. Much like it is with God and us sometimes.

My daughter's opinion of me and her choice to end our relationship, does not add to or subtract from the truth of who I am. And while my heart will be forever missing a piece as long as she is gone from my life, I know who I am.

I am her mother and I love her with all of my heart (even the broken parts).